Mitt Hjerte Alltid Vanker

I stumbled upon this Norwegian Christmas hymn this week and am absolutely smitten. Something about it is at once melancholy and hopeful and captures the essence of Christmas-time for me: so much joy and renewal at the contemplation of a little baby a long time ago.

The great thing about this video is it includes English subtitles. Okay, I'll stop with the pretext. It's Sissel. Need I say more? :)

I've also found several versions by canticle singers, like Arve Moen Bergset. I prefer his simpler, more traditional arrangement. Then there are the choirs, like the Oslo Filharmoniske Kor. Great stuff.

Most of my mother's family is from Norway, and I've always wanted to learn Norwegian. I just might start with this song...

Mitt hjerte alltid vanker i Jesu fødte rom
Der samles mine tanker som i sin hovedsum
Der er min lengsel hjemme, der har min tro sin skatt
Jeg kan deg aldri glemme velsignet julenatt

Akk, kom jeg opp vil lukke mitt hjerte og mitt sinn
Og full av lengsel sukke, kom Jesus dog her inn
Det er ei fremmed bolig, du har jo selv den kjøpt
Så skal jeg blive trolig, her i mitt hjerte svøpt

Jeg gjerne palmegrene vil om din krybbe strø
For deg, for deg alene jeg leve vil og dø
Kom la min sjel deg finne sin rette gledesstund
At du ble født her inne i hjertets dype grunn

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My heart always wanders where Jesus once was born
There I collect my thoughts into a total sum
There my longing finds a home, and my belief a treasure
I can never forget you blessed Christmas night

Oh, I want to open up my heart and my soul
And full of longing sigh, come Jesus here within
This is no foreign housing, you bought it all yourself
Then I will likely stay, swaddled in my heart

I'll gladly spread palm branches around your crib
For you, for you alone I will live and I will die
Come let my soul find you its true blissful moment
That you were born here deep in my heart's abyss

(Original lyrics found here and English transcribed from the video.)

Goings-on of an Edinburgh Kitchen

It has been an adjustment learning how to cook again. It always surprises me how, whenever traveling or living abroad, one's palate and style of cooking adapts quite quickly. In this case, however, my actual abilities have yet to catch up. Here are some of the more successful dishes to come out of this emerging Edinburgh kitchen, however.

I made some pesto bread via Mmm is for Mommy. In my haste to devour, I forgot to take pictures after it baked. I love the concept, but next time I'd like to do it with a more crispy/chewy bread recipe.

This is my go-to, eggs in a basket. Easy as (or rather, quite a bit easier than) pie. Take a piece of bread and an egg. Poke out a little circle in the middle of the bread. Give this little circle of bread to the squalling baby nearby. Place the hole-y bread in a preheated, oiled frying pan. Crack the egg into the bread-hole. Let fry on medium heat for 2-3 min. Flip and let cook for a remaining 2 or so min. Voila! Easy-peasy. I love runny egg yolks..................... (this represents my dribbling face at the moment).

This is a roasted carrot and goat cheese salad atop some watercress and arugula. Quite simple: wash and cut the carrots (I don't peel mine), toss inolive oil, thyme, and s/p and roast for 20-30 min. The flavors here are great: tangy, creamy cheese; mellow, sweet carrots; spicy, crunchy salad. Yum.

This is some roasted pak choi (aka baby bok choy) and Brussels sprouts. Similar method: trim and chop the greens, toss in olive oil, s/p, sage, and a teensy bit of both honey and vinegar, then roast for around 30 min. I both toss and roast in the same 9x13 pan. One pre-emptive step against dishes for me, a giant step for my war-zone kitchen. Okay, I'll stop with the terrible mash-up of 1960's catch-phrase and, well, er, me. But it was quite tasty, specially with some tatties (what taters are known as here).

This is a spontaneous learning experience for Ber, who usually hangs out with me in the kitchen. I was cutting potatoes and I made a little star potato stamp for him. Then we stamped tomato sauce onto a paper towel. Yeah, I'm what's known as a hipster mom. snark. But it WAS fun (and did not involve harmful plastics or unfair trade practices, insofar as I am aware).

These are some persimmon chips, via TheKitchn. I sprinkled them with a bit of curry powder and sugar and a teensy bit of salt. YUM! Just slice the persimmons yay-thin and bake them at a high temp until they are toasty. (I always have a wee chuckle about persimmons though... they're sold here under the name "kaki," which is a diminutive German term related to "kacken"... tehehehehe).

Sadly, much of everything else I have cooked has been kind of gross. But I have my eye on a few recipes that promise to change that... so stay tuned. :)

Student, Mom, Wife

I've been searching in the blogosphere for some inspiration on carrying the stressful and varied hats of new mother, grad student, and wife, and quite honestly, I've come up with very little! I suppose this is so because not so many (female) graduate students begin having children just before or during their studies--but I hope I'm wrong! (Or do I, for their sakes?) What I'm seeking is a bit of solidarity, a bit of the realization that I'm not alone, a bit less of the wide-eyed "yikes!" and the pity and the concern I see in other female grad students when they find out I have a baby. It's difficult spreading oneself between things that one wants to be so good at. Motherhood on its own is oh-so difficult--and also oh-so rewarding--I feel too often that I'm toeing the edges of that wide line of neglect. At the same time, my son doesn't really respond when I try to play with him one-on-one (or is this simply the product of our early attempts at "independent play"?), so I really try to capitalize on one-on-one interaction during mealtimes, baths, and nappy and clothes changes. Writing a dissertation requires focus and stamina, and the longer stretch of time I'm able to devote to it, the better. Though with a toddler phasing from two naps a day to one, that time evaporates like water on hot pavement. Luckily, I have a partner who helps with the baby, taking him all day two or three times a month so that I can work in the New College library on campus. But I feel the biggest toll of this lifestyle is on my stores of patience--where I once had more than enough to spare, I've run quite dry for my husband, my baby, myself. As the holidays approach, however, I'm so looking forward to a reprieve, a time to laugh, love, and remember those closest to us--a time of celebration and courage and joy. And it's those times, I think, that ultimately make it all not "worth it," as that implies pain in the journey and relief in the destination, but rather that strengthen us and change us to enjoy the journey instead of merely enduring it.